|
Mountaintops
February Update 2023
Ever since I hiked Mount Fuji five years ago, Psalm 121, specifically the first two verses, have been an important passage in my life.
I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
I've shared in the past how these verses have impacted my life and pointed me back to God when I'm going through times of trial, but recently they have taken on a new meaning for me.
I've always loved the mountains and have really resonated with mountain imagery probably because I grew up around them, so I was excited to be heading to the mountains again this past week for a missionary retreat called Grace Week. I really knew nothing about the content of the retreat and went on the recommendation of my team leader. Mostly, I thought it would just be nice to get outside of Tokyo for a while and take a break from the busyness of the city.
God really knew what I needed though in bringing me to Grace Week, not just to have refreshing time in the mountains to hike and enjoy nature, but also to hear more about his grace and my identity in him. As the first speaker shared about his life and struggles, it was like he was really describing mine. He explained how we either act as orphans or as children of God. As orphans we act out of insecurity and fear, we lack joy, and our lives become very performative because we feel like we have to look out for ourselves or earn God's favor. As children of God though we don't have to perform. Jesus already did the only work necessary to save us. We are secure in our Heavenly Father. Our joy comes from Him.
From that session and the ones that followed I was convicted of how performative I have been throughout my life. Getting good grades, all my extracurricular activities, even some of the ministry I've been a part of have come out of this desire within myself to perform and somehow earn the love I thought I was missing.
As I processed more with my small group and my mentor at the retreat I realized that I've felt this distance between God and I. Not only that, but when I've looked at the Father's face I only saw disappointment and sometimes even disgust. So I did what I thought I could to perform and change his opinion of me. I've been acting like an orphan.
Even though I knew that I was a child of God, my time at Grace Week really affirmed for me in a new way that I am not an orphan. God has adopted me into his family. Through the cross, whatever sin I've committed or things I hate about myself that I mistakenly believe my Heavenly Father sees with disapproval, have been wiped away. The cross has bridged the distance and Jesus is standing right beside me.
By the end of the week I was reflecting on all that I had learned and Psalm 121 came back into my mind. This time, a new image came to me when I recited it to myself. In it, when I lift my eyes up to the mountains, I don't just see the Lord in some far off place sending help from above as I once did. Instead, he is standing at the top with arms open wide waiting for me to join him. In this vision, my father smiles down at me with joy and it is also my joy.
This new understanding of my identity and grace and joy has been transformative. It has also helped me see what "the joy of the Lord is my strength" truly means. It is not my joy that I find strength in because my joy comes and goes. My joy can be disrupted by how I see myself or the difficult situations I am in. Again, if it is my joy that I am finding strength in then I am back at performance and doing what I can to try to experience that joy. Rather, it is the joy of the Lord that is my strength. The joy of the Lord doesn't change. He looks at me and smiles. Because of what Jesus did on the cross, I am blameless before the Lord and that makes him happy. He sees me going through life and making mistakes and he corrects me when needed, but ultimately, like a father, he finds joy in his child. Knowing this and knowing how gracious he is, gives me so much strength and confidence to keep moving forward.
I am so excited to see how all of this carries over into my ministry here in Tokyo. These kinds of revelations, understanding God's love, his grace, seeing his smile, giving up the need to perform, are all things I want to see the Japanese experience as well. Pray with me that when they come to the mountains of their work, of immense social and familial pressures, of mental health struggles, of loneliness, that they could see a very personal God, a loving father with open arms, is waiting for them ready to help and give them hope as long as they follow him.
|
|
|
|
My small group from the retreat. These guys were awesome and a huge encouragement to me throughout the week.
|
|
Church Updates
This past Christmas was a busy, but joyful time. My church was able to gather all together for a night of fellowship and a white elephant gift exchange. On Christmas Eve, all three of the churches my team has planted got together for a message and then candlelight service in the park.
In my last update I shared about rejoining the Waseda Tsurimakicho Small Church which is the one that I was a part of during my first two years in Japan. While I was excited to be with them again, it has grown and changed since last time. Many of the kids that were a part of the church attend a different church so I haven't been able to do youth ministry like before. I've also been a part of the english group and while that has been good, as I'm learning Japanese, I want to be in an environment where I can hear and speak it more. With these things in mind, I was considering what I should do when the Yamabukicho Small Church reached out to me and asked me if I would join. One of their leaders, my teammate Kevin, is getting married and going back to the States for the rest of the year so they were hoping I would be able to join so that there would be another male older Christian in the church.
The Yamabukicho Small Church has more members around my age and their time together is mostly in Japanese with some translation. So, I am excited to be joining them. This past Saturday we all went strawberry picking which was a fun time to get to know them better and eat some delicious strawberries.
|
|
|
Our Christmas celebrations with the church were a lot of fun!
|
|
|
|
The group from the Yamabukicho Small Church after we went strawberry picking at a local greenhouse.
|
|
Friends Visiting
Last month Kristi came to Tokyo! While I was living in Michigan I stayed with Kristi and her husband Harold. Kristi was traveling in Asia and had a layover in Tokyo so I was able to pick her up, go eat sushi together, and show her around where I live. Harold and Kristi did so much for me and I was so blessed by their hospitality so I was really glad to bless Kristi a bit in return by hosting her in Tokyo! Now that I have my own apartment, I look forward to being able to host more friends and family that come to Japan!
|
|
|
|
It was fun showing Kristi my apartment!
|
|
Japanese Learning
These last couple months have been some of my busiest. I finished up three months of intensive classes and I am really glad to be taking a break this month.
My classes have been fantastic and I am really learning a lot. It's gotten to the point where I am starting to forget some of the older stuff so this month I am hoping to study more and start to use a lot more of the grammar and vocab to solidify it in my memory. I plan on starting up full-time classes again in March.
Something else that has been exciting about my classes has been my relationship with my classmates. Last month, two of them, Ayuma and Mimi, began asking questions about what I and another missionary in my class do. I thought they would hear our answers and be done, but they kept asking more questions about what we believed and the Bible. They were asking really good questions and we didn't have a lot of time during our breaks to answer so my other missionary classmate, Joel, and I asked if they would be willing to meet for lunch to talk more. They happily agreed and we all had a great time together. Ayuma even brought her boyfriend who was interested as well. The best part of it was that we got to share the gospel very clearly with them.
After our time together, they said it was all very helpful and that they had more questions so we decided to meet again to talk more which will be happening next week. This is a huge answer to prayer! Please continue praying that my classmates would be open to hearing more of the Gospel and that they would accept Jesus as their savior.
|
|
Prayer Requests
- Pray for rest. This has been a super busy season for me. I am feeling a little burnt out from everything. Please pray that I could rest not just physically, but also that I could rest in the Gospel and rest knowing that the joy of the Lord is my strength.
- Pray for my Japanese study. With everything going on, I still want to prioritize my Japanese study so pray that I could do that. Even though I don't have class this month, pray that I could manage my time well and prepare well for my class next month.
- Pray for my classmates. Please be praying for my classmates Mimi, Ayuma, and Ayuma's boyfriend who all heard the gospel from my classmate Joel and I. Pray that they would see their need for Jesus and want to accept him.
|
|
|
|
If you'd like to give, please click on the link below!
|
|
Thanks for reading!
I appreciate you all! As always, feel free to email me at adam.bailey@efca.org or text or call me at 802-505-7676. You can also go to my website at adamintokyo.com. Thanks! - Adam Bailey
|
|
|
|
|
